It all started off quite well really, that is to say I woke up, something I’m always thankful for. I knew I was awake because I could hear myself grunting and groaning about my shoulder as I tried various ways of getting it over my head. This ended up as being a Dressing Gown job, or House Coat as I like to call it.

I was in ample time to catch the 0925 bus to town. The Council have very kindly allowed us Bus Pass Holders to use this service as there’s not another one until half past eleven.
What I did do however, was to forget I’d changed the clock which I had put at six minutes fast thus getting me out the house for work a bit quicker, back to the proper time. This resulted in me seeing the Bus go efficiently past the top of the Lane without me being there to catch it.

With a set plan for a change, that’s to say I had made out a shopping list of items I need, I thought I’d whip down there, park at the Bank, assuming they haven’t closed down overnight and do the shop.

On walking around I suddenly noticed it was the 1st. October. I thought it was by the way Christmas Cards were already gathering dust on numerous shop shelves around and about. But never mind, only another 80 odd days to Boxing Day when they can put the Easter Eggs out.

The first item on my list were 100w bulbs. We’ve still got the old Bayonet fitting and where it’s going doesn’t deem the expense of a new Energy Saving one. If I brought one for the Lobby, it would still be there when the grandchildren are my age. It seems these are now being discontinued, so I purchased a 60 watt bulb and went on my way.
Before I knew it, I had completed all my shopping in less than thirty minutes and made my way back to the Bank.

Now, today was one of those days where I actually had a Cheque to physically pay in. I went in there to find a queue of enormous proportions. I imagined all the beds in Ashford under which would have cash stashed away and out the way of the Banks!
There was no other option, I would have to use the Machine to pay in the cheque.
I carried this task out extremely well I thought; put card in, pushed ‘pay in’, took the envelope out, typed in amount, put it in envelope and clicked OK.

I’d done it, the first time ever, I was very pleased until I got home, put the shopping away and sorted my pockets out. It was then I realised I still had the Cheque and banked my Shopping List!

The next job was to service the Rayburn. For this task, I borrowed ‘George’ (the Vacuum Cleaner) from work. Far more powerful than my upright, it would allow me to get to those parts that no other Hoover can reach.

I forgot to put my sensible hat on though; scraped off the hard soot, swept most of it out with a brush, stuck the Cleaner Nozzle up the chimney and turned on.
It was at this point I realised I hadn’t put the Bag in tight enough and within no more than about four seconds, the once clean kitchen was covered in soot and smut.
Luckily, the cats had fled up the garden at the sound of ‘machinery’ being moved into position, but it wouldn’t have mattered too much as two of them are black cats anyway.

Since then the day has been quite normal, but it is all starting to form a rather regular pattern now. All I can say is it’s a damned good job I’m so good looking!