.

I didn’t really think much about this, but having lived in this house for 11 years and twice I’ve walked into the Bathroom this week for the Loo, only to remember we have a separate one here, it motivated me to look at myself a bit more carefully.

It seems that it’s only when we actually physically walk around our Properties that we realise how much we have changed.

Well, starting off in the Bathroom, there are very noticeable changes. Where the Hair Gel used to be is the Tube of Steradent, the ‘rugged mans’ Shower Wash has gone and replaced by the Supermarket’s own brand or some other cheap rubbish and finally, you’ve covered the nice shiney Ceramic Flooring with Carpet should you fall and break your Hip.

From there, we take a walk up the Stairs and enter the Bedroom – oh dear! About the only thing that’s any where near romantic in here is the copy of ‘Gardeners World’ beside the Bed. The bed clothes have a certain tang of youth, but that’s because you haven’t brought new ones for the last 25 years. The Shelves are suitably displaying various Screwdrivers, unpaid Electricity Bills, Bank Statements, an assortment of Pills and a plastic jar where you’ve been saving up your loose change all year and still got only £4.87. Days were when the little Tin Case beside the Bed was for something naughty. It now contains your Reading Glasses.

The Kitchen’s not so bad. You’ve seen the idealogy and need for Devices which save you time, but hardly used because you don’t know how they work. The Kettle’s always in a fairly handy position though. This is when someone comes to see you and says “Shall we have a nice cup of Tea dear”.

Finally the Sitting Room. This is not far amiss to a scene out of ‘Life on Mars’. Only the TV gives away the fact you’re not in about 1979. You’ve hidden all the Records but only because the Stereogram blew up in 1997 and can’t find one on ebay for less than three hundred quid and even that’s a waste of time because you always forget your username and password anyway.

It’s only when you have guests that you try and hide all this. A quick raid on the Guest Room usually finds a Razorhead Album you can turn on just as the car pulls up outside and a quick sorte in the Toilet changing the Bleach for an empty Tub of some posh Cleaner you found in a Skip.

I have to say in all honesty that even at only 60, I see myself being slowly pulled into that slight feeling of has been, but that can be easily remedied by picking up the old guitar and strumming a few chords of ‘Sugar and Spice’ by the Searchers.

They say that 60 is the new 40, but I’ve already done 40, so what do they know? Now they want us not to retire until 68 – great, the thought of putting away Trollies on a damp winters day at Tesco’s really does enthrall me!

Well, I’ve been a bit keyboard dry for two weeks, may as well come back with a bang !