For nearly two hours on Sunday, the Lane was seized in the grips of a violent snowstorm which nearly covered all of the grass.
Starting in mid-afternoon the sequence of fear was as follows.

16.02hrs – A massive search for missing Ginger the Cat got underway. He was found some two minutes later asleep in the Airing Cupboard on a Duvet only washed the previous day. Once found, he was put outside for a pee.

16.32hrs – The temperature plummeted to -1 degrees, one degree below freezing, but swift action of running to the nearby wood store wearing gloves, two pieces of 4″ x 4″ were retrieved for the Rayburn.

16.45hrs – Panic struck when it was found the 4″ x 4″ had in fact been treated with Wood Preservative and there was no option but to open a window to let the poisonous fumes escape to the Ozone Layer which, it was hoped, would increase Global Warming enough to melt the snow by the time I had to feed the Chickens.

17.15hrs – The neighbours decided to dare the weather and go out in their Car. Luckily their vehicle had sufficient grip to navigate the Lane at a mere 37 mph, 20mph slower than usual and only 27 mph above the imposed 10 mph speed limit.

17.56hrs – Finally, the snow eased off, Cat Big Ron came home with a Rat in his mouth and due to the cold, brought it in before eating it on the Kitchen Floor and I realised I had missed the Delia Smith TV Programme which I wasn’t going to watch anyway.

Outside the Lane, it was business as usual. The Public Transport System which had only 6 days prior notice of the weather, went into normal mode of cancellations using believable excuses such as “Driver mistook Train for large Bungalow with wheels on it” etc.

Sadly for the workers of this Country, most of it had cleared up by Monday morning and gone were the expectations of phoning in to say they were snowed in.
But those who did go in will have no doubt have been debating as to who had the most amount to clear off the top of their Car before they came out.

Come the evening and BBC South East rose to it’s usual heights of local Spectacle with scenes of kids sledging down a slope in Calverley Park, Tunbridge Wells.

T-Shirts with the Slogan, ‘I survived the April 2008 Snowstorm’ will be available shortly.

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