The Room Attendant at the Oval some years back left the room just before the start. The 'famous England opening batsman' went out and was given out first ball. He returned to the Dressing Room somewhat disgusted with himself and sat down on the Bench. The Room Attendant returned, "You'd better get going Mate, they've already rung the Bell".
Apparently this didn't exactly go down well, but the Attendant did survive a physical beating - not a verbal one !